Menopause Diet Fads: What Worked, What Flopped & What Made Me Hangry

If I had a dollar for every time a “miracle menopause diet” popped up on my Facebook feed, I could probably retire early and pay someone else to meal-prep my kale. (Just kidding: I still wouldn’t eat it.)

And to make things even more interesting, I juggle a list of food sensitivities — no gluten, no raw citrus, no strawberries, no peanuts, no shellfish, no raw celery. Which means half the “superfoods” in those fad diets are already off the table for me. Literally.

Somewhere between the Atkins craze and “only eat foods that rhyme with quinoa,” I realized that midlife dieting isn’t about discipline, it’s about survival. We’re trying to survive hot flashes, mood swings, and the fact that someone thought it was okay to put cauliflower in everything. Moderation, people. Moderation!

What Worked (Sort Of)

• Protein Power: Adding more protein actually does help keep energy up and late-night fridge raids down. Who knew Greek yogurt could be the superhero cape of snacks?

• Mediterranean Magic: Olive oil and veggies I can do. Fish? Not so much. But apparently the Mediterranean crowd swears by it — maybe that’s why they look so good on vacation postcards.

• Portion Control: Also known as: ain’t nobody got time for that. Measuring food with tiny cups while juggling hot flashes and brain fog feels like punishment, not health.

What Flopped

• The Cabbage Soup Diet: I’ve never actually tried cabbage soup, and honestly, I don’t plan to. But judging from the horror stories, it sounds less like a diet and more like a way to fumigate your house for free.

• Juice Cleanses: Basically paying $9 a bottle to be hangry and lightheaded… unless you’re juicing it yourself, which is even worse. Who has time to wrangle 47 carrots before breakfast?

• Fat-Free Everything: Remember those chalky cookies from the ‘90s? My taste buds are still in therapy. Nuf said.

• The Grapefruit Diet: I actually loved grapefruit… until I couldn’t have it anymore, thanks to sensitivities. Now it just mocks me from the produce aisle.

• The Master Cleanse: Lemon juice, maple syrup, and cayenne pepper. I tried it once and immediately wanted a chaser. Kind of defeats the purpose of “cleansing,” don’t you think?

What Made Me Hangry

• Keto, but Make It Midlife: In theory it works, but telling women in menopause to cut carbs feels like cruel and unusual punishment. Carbs are bread. Bread is comfort.

• Intermittent Fasting: This actually worked for me back in my early 40s. Now? Either my discipline shrank, my hormones staged a coup or my stomach unionized and demanded overtime pay — because suddenly it feels impossible.

• Any Diet That Says “No Chocolate”: Not just cruel. A crime against midlife humanity.

• Six Almonds Rule: Some plans tell you six almonds are a snack. Six. SIX! I ate that many just deciding whether or not I wanted a snack.

• Zoodles Everywhere: Yes, zucchini noodles. And yes, it works if you like them. But let’s be honest: it’s a lot of spiralizing, a lot of mess, and I don’t want my dinner to require power tools.

Why Most Diets Fail in Midlife

Here’s the not-so-funny truth: midlife dieting is like trying to win a marathon with ankle weights. Our metabolism slows, hormones shift, and stress runs the show.

• Hormones: Estrogen dips change how we store fat. Translation: hello belly bulge. Let’s be real — it’s less “pouch” and more like carrying around a permanent fanny pack you never asked for. Shapermint and Spanx are basically the bouncers trying to keep it all contained.

• Sleep: Or in my case, pulling 15–18 hour days and realizing I wasn’t just eating meals — I was grazing into the wee hours. Midnight snack? More like 2 a.m. second dinner, with a side of regret.

• Stress: It’s easy to lose track of how much or how often you’re eating when you’re on auto-pilot. Answer the phone, fix the food, take a few bites, repeat. Before you know it, you’ve polished off dinner before you even sit down.

👉 Psst — I talk more about these midlife hurdles (and how to tackle them) in my blog on weight gain and cortisol. These two really do go hand in hand.

Instead of chasing the next fad, focus on balance. A few swaps can make a big difference:

• Stay hydrated your way: Herbal teas, cucumber-mint water, or electrolyte packets can cool you down better than soda. (Citrus slices are popular too, but I skip those because of sensitivities.)

• Keep high-protein snacks handy (nuts, cheese sticks, boiled eggs... and yes, even cottage cheese if you don't mind its lumpy personality).

• Add fiber with veggies you actually like — broccoli counts, kale is optional (unless, of course, you enjoy chewing your lawn clippings).

• Build meals you’d actually want to eat again tomorrow, something that says 'comfort,' not 'you've been sentenced to kale.'
  

And if you’re curious about products that can help with the “I’m always hungry” stage, I’ve pulled together some top-rated portion-control plates and midlife-friendly cookbooks in the Editor’s Picks section.

Taming the Flame

⭐ Editor’s Picks: Midlife Meal Helpers

• 🍽️ Portion-Control Plate — Looks like a normal plate, but the sections keep you from piling it like you’re at a church potluck.

• 🥗 Glass Meal-Prep Containers — Because leftovers are more tempting when they don’t look like science experiments.

• 📚 The Menopause Diet Plan — A cookbook that doesn’t make you feel punished for being over forty.

The Cool Down❄️

At the end of the day, diets will come and go… but your sanity needs to stay. Find what fuels your body, works around your unique needs, and doesn’t wreck your mood. And yes — leave room for the occasional brownie without guilt.

That struggle is exactly why I’m working on The Big Book of Kitchen Swaps & Substitutions. It’s a giant guide to making everyday recipes doable when you’ve got sensitivities, allergies, or just plain picky taste buds. Think of it as a shortcut to keep your meals tasty, safe, and a little more fun. Stay tuned — because it’s coming soon, and trust me, you’re going to want it in your kitchen.