Menopause Friendships: Why We Need Them More Than Ever

Menopause can feel like running a one-woman circus—complete with night sweats, disappearing memory acts, and the occasional chin-hair tightrope. But here’s the secret: it’s a whole lot easier when you’ve got girlfriends in the audience laughing with you instead of watching from afar.

For me, some of those friends are family. I have two sister-in-laws (married to my brothers) who are not just “in-laws,” but real sisters in every sense. We travel together, laugh together and—shockingly—actually get along. That seems to amaze people, but it’s a gift I don’t take lightly.

And then there’s my small inner circle of girlfriends. Each one is so different, yet somehow our lives run parallel in just the right ways. One knows the single motherhood struggles, another shares the creative spark, a couple others walks beside me in faith. Together, they form this patchwork quilt of friendship that makes midlife feel a little warmer, a little safer.

Most of my sisterhood is rooted in faith. I don’t mean we sit around quoting Scripture at each other (though sometimes we do when one of us really needs it). What I mean is that our bond goes deeper than shared hot flash stories—it’s anchored in hope and joy that outlast whatever menopause throws at us. And while I don't mean to sound too “churchy” (my faith is not about church - it's about Jesus), I can tell you this: there’s something powerful about walking this road with women who remind you that you’re never walking alone.

That kind of sisterhood? It’s priceless.

The Many Friends Who Matter in Midlife

Some friendships feel like family—because they are. My sister-in-laws prove that “in-law” can actually mean “bonus sister.” We laugh, we travel and we lean on each other in ways that make this season lighter. That kind of bond is rare, and I treasure it.

Then there are the friends who share your faith. The ones who remind you that God isn’t surprised by hot flashes, chin hairs or brain fog. They don’t just walk beside you—they pray beside you. And sometimes, that’s the kind of lifeline you don’t even know you need until it’s there.

Every woman also needs the friend who just gets it. You text her “Ugh,” and she replies “Same.” No explanation required. Solidarity in two words.

There’s also the encourager—the one who reminds you you’re doing better than you think. And then there’s the truth-teller: the one who loves you enough to say, “That haircut is not the vibe.” But she’ll soften it with, “Well, at least hair grows.” Because that’s what truth with kindness sounds like.

Of course, the fun friend deserves a spot too. She’s the one who pulls you out for dinner or a movie, makes you laugh until your sides hurt and reminds you that joy is still very much alive in midlife.

For me, another treasured friendship has come through my daughter, who’s almost thirty now. She will always be my child, but as she’s lived more chapters of her own, a new layer of friendship has formed between us. It’s still mother and daughter—but also something that feels like walking beside each other as women. That friendship is one of the sweetest surprises of midlife.

The truth is, sisterhood doesn’t have one look. Sometimes it’s family, sometimes it’s faith, sometimes it’s a lifelong friend—or even a daughter—who shows up with love at just the right moment, shooting a meme to cheer you up. However it looks in your life, it matters more than ever right now.

Friendship Pitfalls to Avoid

• Isolation – pulling away when you need support most.

• Comparison – her journey looks different than yours, and that’s okay.

• Trying to go it alone – menopause isn’t a solo sport; it’s a team event.

Nurturing Sisterhood in Midlife

• Schedule coffee dates or walks, even short ones.

• Start a group chat—bonus points if it’s filled with memes.

• Create mini-traditions: Taco Tuesday, Wine Wednesday, or “Let’s Just Vent” Friday.

• Celebrate small wins together (like surviving a week with no night sweats!).

• Be intentional about checking in—you never know when a two-minute text could be the very thing that keeps a friend going.

Taming the Flame

This is exactly what I hoped Hot Flash Finds would feel like—not just a blog with tips, but a space where women can laugh, connect and remind each other that we’re not navigating this season alone. Sisterhood is about showing up, even if it’s just in the form of a text that says, “Same here.”

The Cool Down❄️

At the end of the day, menopause may throw us curveballs, but friendship is what helps us catch them. Because when the hot flashes come, when memory plays hide-and-seek or when we spot that one rogue chin hair, a true friend won’t judge. She’ll hand you the tweezers—or better yet, point to her own and say, “Darn.. got one, too… Give me back those tweezers.” Suddenly, it’s not mortifying or depressing, it’s hilarious—and exactly the kind of moment that reminds us we’re never going through this alone.

Sisterhood in midlife is a lifeline. It’s the late-night phone calls, the “me too” texts, the shared prayers and the belly laughs that leave your mascara running. Menopause may be a solo biological experience, but it was never meant to be weathered alone.

So here’s to the girlfriends, the sisters, theSILs-turned-true-family, the daughters who grow into friends and the faithful women who walk beside us. Fans may help with the heat, but friends are the real reason we make it through the fire.